Behind

I have been on vacation for the past couple of weeks, so I haven't had a chance to blog  There is a ton to blog ABOUT, but it seems I have left my camera complete with pictures and video at my parents' house, and I just won't blog without them.  So you will have to wait.  Besides, I got a transcription assignment!  I say "assignment" because I've been hired for only one task.  I would LOVE for it to turn in to a job though!  So I will still be busy typing, you just won't get to read it!

Wheel of Fortune Frustration

How is it that I can watch virturally ANY TV show I want online, but WOF episodes are not available?  How crazy is that?  I'm slightly frustrated because I missed the episode where an old college roommate was playing.  She doesn't win (I found an entire rundown of the show - but no video).  Of all shows, why keep the wheel off limits?  Do die hard fans really sit around and collect the puzzles in hopes of one day being on the show and making a clean sweep with their decades of puzzles memorized?  *sigh*  There are several episodes available online to watch.  I'm not sure what makes them more special than any other episode.  How can one game be more exciting than the next?  I just don't know.  Maybe I should watch an available episode to understand.  But if anyone knows how to get a hold of the episode that ran on May 5, 2010, I would greatly appreciate it!!

So....Hungry.....

I need some Japanese food in the worst way.  I honestly think I will go to all the trouble to pack up my boys so I can go get some.  Yes, it will take us over an hour to get out the door, but I think it will be worth it.  These places should seriously consider delivery.  SERIOUSLY.  Because I would be on the phone in exactly 2 minutes (as soon as they  open).  What is with these cravings?  I dreamt about being pregnant last night, but I didn't expect any cravings this morning!!  And no!  I'm not pregnant!   

Children's Books!

No time to blog today (nothing spectacular to blog about either) but I was recently introduced to this book and I HAVE to have it!!!  Have any of you seen it or read it?

I know this will give you quite the insight into my psyche, but I think "children's" books like this are just brillant and highly amusing!  Here are a few others I love:

Lady Cottington's Pressed Fairy Book - it's filled with images of smashed fairies that the girl catches.  BRILLANT!

There is no better book for a melancholy!  Loved this book as a child and I have quite an interesting story to go with it.  Perhaps another day.

The perfect book for those with "worst-case-scenario-syndrome"  Runner up for favorite children's book ever.

Changes

I like to change things up - a lot.  My poor husband got used to coming home and having to relearn his way around the house every few months because I would rearrange the furniture.  So now I am welcoming you to his world.  The look of the blog is liable to change - a lot.  I always think it could look better.  I felt the black was too depressing, and I'm not THAT depressing!  Here is the new look.  Hope you like it, but don't get too used to it! 

Trapped!

I feel like a hostage in my own house.  My neighbor is back from the hospital.  I'm fairly sure she got in last night because I was awoken by quite a ruckus in the middle of the night, which made it difficult to go back to sleep.  Every worst case scenario played through my head.  I was hoping she wouldn't come back until I had a chance to leave.  I didn't see her but feared the worst.  I wanted to get out of the house today and be far far away from here, but I suppose lack of sleep and feeling petrified got me feeling quite ill.  I decided to take a nap with the boys in hopes that I would feel better and less afraid once I got some decent sleep.  I was awoken by the sound of children running and playing and the neigbors playing music upstairs.  I heard a little girl say, "Mommy, you love me so much you won't let anything happen to me right?"  My ears perked up.  Maybe other neighbors had had run ins too and Eric would be safe to play outside with the witness of other neighbors.  I heard her mom telling her friend, "She was mad that I pulled Jasmine inside...." 

I have met Jasmine once.  I was out the door on my way to the store when a little girl says hi.  I considered ignoring her, but didn't want to be rude.  So I said Hi and kept walking.  She said, "What's your name?"  I said "Charity.  What's yours?"  She said "Jasmine."  I said "Nice to meet you," and kept walking because she was obviously still wanting to talk.  Her mother called her inside and I walked off.  The reason I tell this story is because as the women keep talking and I strain to listen to what is being said with my doors closed and locked, is that one of the women says "My car was towed".  My heart stopped.  The friend the upstairs neighbor was talking to is the one who attacked me.  They loudly complain about the situation and I start to realize they haven't been talking about the woman who was hauled off - they were talking about ME.  My stomach started to turn in knots again.  I wanted to open the door to hear them better, but didn't want them to know I was listening. 

So I here I sit, trapped in my own house because I don't dare let Eric out to play with MORE neighbors against me, and I don't dare leave in the van and let them know that I am not home.  It's a gorgeous day and I'm cowering in fear.  I hate that.  I hate feeling this way.  I wasn't physically hurt when i was shoved down, but my sense of safety and security was stolen from me that day.  I have plans to take the boys and go live with my parents until she is gone.  I can't do this anymore and my boys need the freedom to play.  Poor Eric just doesn't understand why he can't play outside. 

I know I'm being TOTALLY absurd, but just had to get that off my chest.  Thanks for listening!

Art!

John had me trapped in the living room, using me as a pillow for that nap he didn't want to take- *rolls eyes*  :) - and so I got caught up watching LA Ink.  For those of you not familiar with the show, it's about a tattoo shop.  The art work is really so amazing!  I realized that there are so many different art forms that I would love to try.  I want to do them all!  I've tried a variety of things, oil painting, acrylic painting, watercolor, pottery, drawing, weaving (which I loved to my surprise), different types of sewing (which I hated), photography...but I'd like to try the more eccentric forms of art like tattooing as well.  Not that I want to be a tattoo artist or even have the ability, but I would love to just try it - if even on a pig - to see what it's like.  I also want to try screen printing and graffiti and oh I don't know - sculpture maybe?

I LOVE this artist, Phil Hansen.  He is so utterly creative in the media he uses to convey a message, which I think is amazing.  You can check him out here http://philinthecircle.com/index.html. It's hard to pick my favorite piece but you can check out how he uses bicycles as paintbrushes, band-aids as canvas and syringes as media. 

 I'll also plug Mike Lewis, better known as the Jesus Painter to many of you.  We went to Harding together and I got to see his work firsthand.  He developed new art techniques as well which fascinate me to no end.  http://www.jesuspainter.com/.  How amazing is he?

This is NOT a photograph.  It is done entirely with a mix of Charcoal, Colored pencil, Conte Crayon, Watercolor, Ink, and Pastels.

Ok.  That's it.  I was just in an artsy mood after watching LA Ink!  :)

Squeaky Eric

 Eric using his high pitched, shrieky voice and Papa is trying to teach him to talk in a lower octave.

After the Assault....

Thank you everybody for your concern and well wishes.  We are all doing fine.  The neighbor was taken to a mental hospital and spent several days there - she may still be there for all I know.  I plan on avoiding her like the plague from here on out.  The day after the incident was hard for me and I found myself wanting to stay in bed all day.  I guess I wasn't processing everything well.  But thankfully John was off work for two days and he made sure we got out and had a lot of family time.  I even got a bit sunburned!  :)  We got some mace for me to have on me and I feel a bit more protected and certainly more comfortable with spraying someone down as opposed to shooting them!  Today John works a 24 hour shift so I have been slightly paranoid about being home alone, but doing okay. 

The boys have kept me busy and are changing so much everyday.  Matthew is talking non-stop.  Mamamamamamamamamamamamama.  OK!!!  He loves to play games and is surprising me with his smarts already.  His favorite game this week has been to get me to repeat myself.  He sneezed the other day and I said "Bless you."  Apparently that was funny.  So he continued to pretend to sneeze so that I would say bless you.  It's funny to listen to him fake a sneeze over and over.  As I type, he is in his crib trying to get my attention by blowing raspberries, dropping his pacifier, and grabbing at my hair.  Just looking at him sends him into giggles.  He is supposed to be sleeping - but then again, I'm supposed to be out of his room!  He's very particular about that! 

I have updates on Eric but I will post those in another blog!  I want to make sure he gets all the spotlight!  Well that, and I will use it for blackmail when he gets older - because that's just the kind of mother I am!  Love you boys!!!  :)

Why the Ghetto and Naivety Don't Mix.

So I have a great story that I know Amber and Chris can truly appreciate - and be thankful they avoided.

Typically while Matthew is sleeping, I allow Eric to play out on our patio and draw with his chalk, while I stay inside - with the door open - and clean.  I can watch him and I can hear him.  So that's what was happening today.  Matthew was sleeping, Eric was drawing on the porch, and I was cleaning the kitchen.  While cleaning, I heard my neighbor  talking to Eric.  I believe the statement was "Are you playing outside by yourself?" to which Eric answered "Yes" and looked inside at me.  I walked to the door to see what was going on.  The neighbor was at her car and stuck her head quickly back in when I approached my screen door (they are difficult to see in).  I assumed she was questioning his safety and once she saw me would understand that he was fine.  I walked back to the kitchen and heard her begin talking to him again.  I walked BACK to the door and this time she addressed me but I couldn't hear her so I opened the screen door and asked what the problem was.  She said, "You need to take him inside with you."  I said, "No.  He's fine."  She repeated herself.  Again I said, "NO.  He's fine."  She said, "Can he walk?  Can he run?"  At which point I answered, "Yes.  But he won't.  He's FINE."   She closed her door and started to approach me. 

Now THIS would have been a good time to grab Eric, run inside and lock the door, however I was not anticipating the following events.  I try to believe the best in everybody.  As it is, everyone scares me anyhow.  I don't trust anyone.  But I try to.  And I understood that it LOOKED as if a small child was outside unsupervised, but I felt I had made it fairly clear that he was being watched - as was she.  She came up to the patio and said "Take him inside."  I said, "No."  She said, "We're about to have a riot up in here."

At this point I'm thinking, "Ok...something is going on around the corner that I can't see and she's concerned for his safety."  After all, the cops practically live at this place.  So I peer around the corner of the patio and ask "Who's about to have a riot?" I see nothing.   She was kneeling down talking to Eric.  So I repeated myself, "WHERE'S A RIOT?"  She stood up and went nose to nose with me.  "RIGHT HERE!"  Before I could react she chest bumped me taking me by surprise, which sent me flying backwards, practically on top of my son.  She turned and walked away muttering something about "That's what I'm talking about" and went back into her apartment.  I sat stunned and held Eric who was bawling.  I hate that he had to witness that. 

Once I calmed him down we went inside and I tried to gather my thoughts and decide what to do next.  I wasn't hurt.  Just stunned and now a bit shaken and concerned for my children's safety.  Fortunately my landlady, Stephanie was walking across the street.  She waved at me and I waved her over.  After explaining the incident she said "Call the police."  I HATE turning things into big deals.  I really do.  But since that was considered an assault I had to report it.  So I did, and we waited.  I was trying to keep an eye on Eric and find out the result of this situation.  I was going to feel pretty stupid having the police come and have to report "She shoved me". 

While waiting for the police to show up, the neighbor headed out of her apartment.  She turned and quickly said "Sorry." and kept walking to her car.  Stephanie said, "You need to stay here until the police get here." at which point this lady went OFF.  Blood curdling screaming and cursing as if somebody had flipped a switch.  She put the car in reverse and pulled out of her parking space while the landlady called 911 and reported that she was leaving the scene.  As she was giving the details of the car, the neighbor jumps out of her car and continues to scream.  Stephanie tells me to get inside.  I do.  I lock the door and continue to watch.  The neighbor continues to scream and curse at the landlady and then starts to approach her.  Stephanie reached for the door to run inside but found it locked so I quickly unlocked it and let her in.  She tells me to get Eric back to his room so he doesn't witness any of this.  I take him back and try to explain that he's not in any trouble.  I calm him down and turn on Sesame Street for him and go back to see what's going on.  I see her still aimlessly walking in the grass as if she's waiting for Stephanie or me to come out. Apparently she had walked right up to the door and banged on it while yelling at Stephanie then sat in the corner.  The police get there and she takes off and curls up in the fetal position on my patio.  I can not believe this happening.  She's still going off though I can't hear what she is saying.  They handcuff her and try to calm her down.  They actually did really well with that, because at one point she kicked Eric's eggs off the porch and her shoe went flying.  The officer said, "You're gonna lose your shoe that way!"  At which point she kicked off the other one. 

Now understand, this is a neighbor that we have let use our phone on MULTIPLE occasions.  We have talked briefly and I've never thought twice about her.  I find out that the police have had to deal with her numerous times and this is old hat for them.  The officer who came in to get my information simply said, "She said something about children being outside."  I said, "Yes..my son was outside on the patio with chalk..." And went to explain the story, but he cut me off.  "You're fine.  She's just crazy." 

Indeed.  From what I understand she is on medication for bi-polar disorder.  Now I'm not a psychologist or anything, but that was NOT a show of bi-polar disorder.  Apparently she's either not taking her meds or they are not working and she is having more frequent "episodes" for whatever mental disorder she does have.  I later asked if she had any family (afraid that they would come after me since she was being hauled off).  I was told where all of her children were and discovered that her youngest child was living with the neighbor's mother who had taken custody after the LAST episode she had, which then made everything very clear to me.  Here is this woman who is without her kids on the basis that she is unfit to care for them and she sees a small child outside "by himself" and she deemed it necessary to make sure he was properly cared for.  But not by calling CPS mind you, which I would have gladly welcomed over that whole ordeal!  So seeing Eric must have set her off.

I called John and broke down into tears.  He came over in his ambulance!  :)  He reminded my of the gun safe combination once again and Stephanie said "Listen to him.  Listen to your husband.  It's the safety of your children"  So..I think I might be convinced now.  I think it may be time to shoot the gun a few times and get a feel for it.  As much as it terrifies me.  I just know that if I pull a gun, I have to be prepared to shoot it.  And I don't like that one little bit.  UUUUGGGHHHH!  Not too much longer in these apartments!  I think I'll go house hunting this week!!!

Happy Easter!

It's a Gorgeous Day!

It is so beautiful out and I'm sad.  We live in an apartment which means no yard.  I want my children to be able to run around and play in a big yard when it's sunny out.  The simple solution would be to take them to a park, but nap schedules make that nearly impossible.  After breakfast, Matthew is down for a 2 hour nap (at which point Eric would love to be playing outside).  When Matthew wakes up, it is time for Eric's nap (at which point Matthew would like to be outside).  When Eric wakes up, Matthew is ready to eat, take a bath, wind down and settle in for the night at 6pm.  Not to mention, once Eric wakes up, it's time to start fixing dinner and getting the house ready for John's arrival home after a long day at work.  So..I sit and watch my poor 3 year old play with his bike and chalk out on our closet-sized patio and dream of one day providing him a little something something that looks like this:

It's crazy how happy that thought makes me.  Yes, it's an entire PLAYGROUND, but I get giddy thinking about how much fun my boys and their friends would have.  That really is a system you can purchase for your backyard.  I'll go ahead and plug this company because I think they are amazing.  You can them out at 
http://www.cedarworks.com/.

I am amazed at the joy I get from seeing my children happy.  Kids really don't understand how much  parents enjoy giving them what they want (especially when you have to say no so much!) It does make me stop and think on God and his relationship with His children.  It's hard for me to comprehend that he wants to give me amazing things too.  My children could not dream this playground up, but I can just imagine the look on their eyes if it were to "magically" appear in our backyard (which we will have one day!  :] ).  Does God feel this giddy when giving us gifts too?  Things that we really want?  I guess I find that hard to believe because our focus should be on the spiritual and it almost seems materialistic in a way if we receive something we want from God, so why would it make Him giddy with joy?  But, I would not find my children to be materialistic if they asked for a swing set and I was able to provide an entire playground.  I would do it just because it would make me happy seeing them happy.  Would they be happy with a swing-set?  Sure.  But there's just something about exceeding the expectations and visions of a child.  God blessed me and exceeded my request by giving me two little boys who I adore with everything I am.  Has He made you wide-eyed with wonder?