Completely Drained

I am exhausted.  Emotionally.  Physically.  Spiritually.  I don't know what it was about today, but the boys shredded every last nerve I had.  Pretty rough day for everyone.  I was looking forward to bible class tonight (Effective Parenting - and I DEFINITELY need to be in there!) but I just didn't have any strength left to fight 2 little ones on my own, much less in public.  After bedtime.

So I'm grouchy.  We all really like the new congregation we have been attending.  One of the members recognized us at the bank today.  With such large numbers, it never ceases to amaze me how friendly everyone is and how they can keep up with everyone there enough to know who is visiting and who is not.  So I'm missing being there tonight.  And for the first time in over a year, I know I am being missed. 

I feel like I am having to gather myself together to fight battles all over again tomorrow.  Matthew has an appointment with the allergist in the morning and then I had planned on taking the boys to the library for the "Costume Parade" and story reading.  But now I just don't know.  I had BIG plans for the entire weekend, FILLED with fun activities, but my children resist change in routine which is making it hard to create new and exciting experiences for them.

I was really excited about Halloween this year.  We have no plans to do the nighttime door to door trick or treating, but there was the library event, the mall trick or treating, 2 fall festivals associated with churches, and the pumpkin farm.  I want so badly to create FUN childhood memories for my children and traditions that they will cherish.  But they are fighting me on it something fierce.  We didn't carve a pumpkin this year because Eric won't have anything to do with scooping out the insides.  So we painted pumpkins.  He liked that.

I got him a Cat in the Hat costume and I made a Thing 1 costume for Matthew.  Even John was excited about all the events and asked me to make him a Thing 2 costume.  Unfortunately, both boys scream bloody murder when we try to put the costumes on.  *sigh*  I just want to give up.  And this is a holiday that tends to be a big deal!  Unlike Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's day, and other such "holidays" that I have always wanted to make special, fun days as well.  So here are their lovely costumes.  I'm sure they would look adorable in them, but we may all have to use our imaginations. 

I know we don't NEED to "celebrate" this holiday (and I know some of you disagree strongly with any participation at all) but for me, this is a time to do something out of the ordinary, something fun that will stand out in their memories years from now as a special family time.  "Remember when we would ________ every year?  I loved that."  If they continue to not want to celebrate in the different ways we are offering, that is fine.  But I do hope that we will find that special event or activity that can become a family tradition to help strengthen our bond.