Make it stop!!!!!

It's time for daddy to come home.  Past time.  46 minutes past time.  Where is he?  Matthew is such a cutie.  I'm having to repeat that over and over right now.  I can't take another minute alone with him.  I'm exhausted from fishing flowers out of his mouth, closing cabinet door, washing toilet water off his hands, pulling headphones out of his mouth, resetting the TV for Eric after Matthew has mashed the buttons, giving the child baths, chasing him across the park, trying to toss smashed cheetos away for obvious reasons......Matthew IS the Insanity workout.  And I am officially insane!! 

Eric, bless his heart, is compliant for the most part, but in this awful repetitive stage.  Why do I have to hear the same thing 50 times even when I've responded to you???  Please STOP! 

Matthew is pulling papers down off of our shelf...I have to go now....JOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Cracking Up

Eric tends to be a bit "laid-back" when it comes to learning certain skills because he knows he can get somebody to do it for him.  Getting dressed for instance.  Today I've been pushing him to put his underwear on by himself because I know he has the ability to do it.  The first time he put them on backwards.  But he tried.  So I helped and got them straightened out.

He just ran here shouting "Ta-Da!"  with a great deal of glee and pleasure.  I saw as he patted his sides.  he got his underwear on by himself.  With tag in back.  Inside out.  And no, I'm not changing them.

Scared!

*warning! Emotions are heightened due to female hormonal fluctuations this week*  So..it should be an interesting blog week!

The time for launching LightBlox is getting close.  Soon, they will be up for sale in the store and on Facebook.  And I'm petrified!!  I am a dreamer.  My head has been full of ideas since I was itty bitty, and I don't think I've followed through on a single one.  I am so bad at being an "action" person.  I would much prefer to concoct crazy ideas and give those ideas to someone who is good at putting things into motion.  I can't say that I have good business skills or leadership skills.  I like being given a task or told what to do because I can follow direction well - so if YOUR plan of action doesn't pan out that's on YOU.  So this whole baby business I'm trying to start is scary because I'm calling the shots and it's on me.  Ideally, it would be nice to have between 3-5 orders a week.  The reality of it though is it could go one of two ways.  1)  Nobody likes these blocks and nobody will want to buy them or 2) I will get more orders than I can handle.  Either one is scary.  Option one means I've wasted my time and will have failed, though I know I will learn a lot in the process.  Option 2, though far less likely, is hard to prepare for despite the success it brings.  The logistics of single-handedly creating blocks and providing great customer service is slightly daunting.   And I'm not even touching on all the business aspects of the growth and legal paperwork I would have to have drawn up if this ever made it "big'.  How big, I don't know.  IRS stay away.  Of course, part of that is me dreaming.  I DO understand that the chances of selling a ton of these is slim to none, but I'm trying to be prepared for everything.  

I would like to thank everyone who has been involved to help make this happen.  To John, for his "loan" to get started.  Despite his doubt that anything would come of it, he gave me money to get started!  Thanks babe!  To John Grubbs, for drilling the holes in my first set of blocks.  I wish you were still around to be my partner!  If these actually sell, I could pay you to drill holes!  To Julie, for shopping with me and giving me encouragement and support.  To Abbey for your donation of ribbon supplies - that was a huge help for getting started!  To my parents for housing the supplies until I got the courage and means to begin selling.  To those who have always believed I could make a living selling my art.  I've always thought you were all crazy for thinking so, but I have appreciated the belief in my talent.  Even if this all fails, thank you all for your contribution and for believing in me.  I'm not used to taking risks or putting myself in a situation where I know failure could be a strong possibility, so thank you all for your support!  If I succeed, I will be doing something I love and that is very exciting for me!!

I don't get it.

John has a friend who is entering a bodybuilding contest in 8 weeks.  He has worked hard and is quite muscular.  John is super impressed.  I just don't get it.  I know girls go crazy over this guy, but I just don't see him that way at all.  I mean, it is definitely one thing to work on being fit, healthy, and muscular, but there's something about going overboard on building muscles.  I think if John had unlimited free time, he might want to concentrate on bodybuilding as well.  He really likes his friend's results.  I'm glad John is busy.  I don't know if I associate a cocky attitude with the figure or if I'm just truly repulsed by professional body builders.  Why is this attractive?!?!

This is NOT John's friend by the way - he's nowhere NEAR that......leathery, musular-y, fake looking.  I'm still staring at the picture trying to figure out why men want to look like that.  He looks cancerous to me.  This next guy says he's not a body builder....He looks like the Michelin tire man to me....

I don't even get how it's possible to LOOK like that.  Is it stupid to ask how he moves his arms?  Does anyone have ANY comments on body building?  Help me out.

Unprepared.

I psyched myself out before having Eric about all the things little boys get into.  I was ready.  Whatever he could throw at me, I was ready to handle.  But he never did anything.  Parents of boys his age were jealous.  The child got into NOTHING.  So I suppose I let my guard down and I felt quite relaxed about having another little boy.  TOO relaxed.  This child gets into EVERYTHING!!!  And he's super fast.  Especially if he knows you want to pick him up.  It's like trying to step on a spider that's trying to get away. 

I was cooking lunch for Eric this afternoon when I realized Matthew was a little *too* quiet.  I find him in the bathroom, playing in the toilet water.  Again, a great photo op, but all I could do was yank him up, tell him no-no, and scrub him down with the hand soap.  Which of course produced tons of grins and giggles.  What's more fun than trying to reach into the toilet and splash in the water?  Having mom turn on a faucet for you!  I'm not prepared for this little boy.  Eric tricked me.

My Brand of Bravery

I'm a chicken.  About everything.  And I suppose I am a chicken because I am a creature of comfort.  If it is uncomfortable, painful, and unnecessary I don't want to do it.  However, ever since I was old enough to give blood, I have felt compelled to do so, even though I hate needles with every fiber of being.  I've only tried to give blood once - when I was 17.  I was such a basket case by the time they had the rubber band on my arm, that they just told me to go.  Now after having poked and prodded through 2 pregnancies, I have agreed to go with John to give blood for the church's blood drive.  He kept saying I didn't have to go and made me promise not to be a baby for the rest of the day if I did it.  I said I would be fine.  Sure, I would not deal as well as he would, but I could do it this time!  Of course, now I'm getting anxious as we are at T-24 hours.  Ugh.  But I have always looked at like this.  How can I deny giving my blood to help save lives when Christ died a horrible death to save everyone?  Not that you can compare the two.  I'm just saying.  Jesus was willing to die to save a world and all I have to do is give ONE pint of blood.  And they'll probably even give me some cookies and a sticker.  This is as brave as I get, world! 

Spanish

I wanted to throw this site out there for all you moms who may be interested in having your child learn a second language.  I was looking for programs for Eric, but found that they were all very expensive. www.gogolingo.com is a free game site where children can start learning Spanish vocabulary.  I introduced it to Eric before he could use a mouse on the computer and he liked it, but we stopped using the site for a while.  Now he has learned to use the mouse and he asks me every morning if he can "go speak Spanish".  He's learning lots and LOVES to play!  You can pay membership fees to have access to a greater number of things, but there is plenty for your child to do for free.  Go check it out! 

Golden Birthday

It's nobody's birthday, (ok - it's SOMEBODY'S birthday - but I'm not writing about that person today).  But I just discovered this concept of a Golden Birthday.  Has anyone else ever heard of that?  When I read a blog about a parent celebrating her daughter's "golden birthday"  I had no idea what she was talking about.  Did birthdays follow some sort of gift pattern like anniversaries?  It turns out, (for those of you who are clueless like me) that a Golden Birthday is one in which you turn the same age as the date of your birth.  Therefore, my Golden Birthday was the year I turned 7.  I'm still not sure I get the significance or specialty of it all.  And according to "tradition" there doesn't seem to be a huge difference in the way you would celebrate such a birthday.  It still seems like a fun thing to say that it's your Golden Birthday though.  And even though I don't totally get it, it would still be fun to make a big deal out of the boys' Golden Birthdays.  However, it just so happens that their Golden Birthdays fall on significant milestone birthdays anyway.  Matthew's Golden Birthday would be when he turns 5.  A full fledge child.  No more baby.  :(  Of course this is not as big a milestone birthday as Eric's Golden Birthday which is 18.  Have any of you celebrated this birthday in a special way?  Tell me about it!

I Forgot!

I was going through Eric's pictures and found these photos that show off his writing skills!  He's working so hard on writing as well as reading.  I can't believe I forgot to mention that in his update!

Matthew's Growth

Little Matthew is going through some big changes too!  At his doctor's appointment on April 30th, we learned that he is 23 lbs and 30 1/4 inches.  Since children are supposed to triple their birth weight in a year, he is apparently considered quite hefty.  I still think he's just a little thing, but the doctor said his head is a bit big for his body still, but that's okay.  I just kept staring at him as she said his weight is in the 93% and his height 95%.  Really?  Because he still doesn't look all that big to me.  Maybe it's his baby face.  Or maybe it's because the only other infant I have spent extensive time with was GINORMOUS (ahem, Eric!).  Oh well.  Hes still my little cuddly pumpkin head, no matter what the charts say!

Regarding his skin condition, whatever that may be - allergies, eczema, a thorn in our sides - we are doing our best to get it under control.  The doctor did diagnose it as eczema and directed me to use Cetaphil and a certain brand of lotion to help.  She also prescribed Zyrtec since I had concerns about him seeming to react to a lot of environmental factors.  She asked if  I had tested him for food allergies and I said no.  She asked if I wanted to have him tested and I hesitated, since I knew that involved him being stuck a whole lot.  She said it could be a dairy allergy.  She told me to give soy milk a try along with the other 100 things and we could have him tested in June if I wanted.  I did wait on switching the formula because I didn't want to change EVERYTHING at once and not know which method was making him better if any.  As you all know, he reacted to that cheese, so I have since switched the formula.  If it IS a dairy allergy, I'm just confused by the whole thing (I must mention, I haven't noticed a big change yet).  One, there is no history of food allergies in the family that I am aware of.  I'm not even sure that is a factor, I would just assume it to be as everything else is.  Two, I had a child in pre-school who had a dairy allergy.  It involved explosive diapers when he got a hold of any dairy - which he did his BEST to get a hold of from other kids' lunches everyday.  I guess I was once again wrong in assuming that if he HAD a food allergy, it would have involved vomiting and diarrhea.  As it is, I think if Matthew is just to ingest dairy of any kind, there is no reaction that I see.  But if it touches his SKIN, there's a harsh reaction.  I just don't understand that.  Everything is trial and error and it's frustrating to not see a huge change.  It's under control enough that he's not scratching himself open, but he still has those red itchy blotches of skin and the overall dryness.  I will have him tested next month to see what we can find.  I am hoping this is something he grows out of.  I am a bit afraid to find the results of the allergen test.  Dairy is not the only ting his skin seems to have reacted to.  His little fingers have gotten quite red and blotchy from several different foods, though I never associated it with a food allergy - just yet another reaction to something "foreign" touching his skin.

He is a highly experienced crawler at this point.  I know that walking is right around the corner.  He LOVES the freedom and is much happier that he is not "stuck" in one place.  I, on the other hand, am pulling my hair out trying to keep him out of things.  So much so, that "no-no" has become his 3rd word.  Oops.  He's a stubborn little monkey and will try the same thing over, but he's very sensitive and does not like to be fussed at.  It breaks my heart to watch his face drop, the bottom lip come out and the tears stream down, simply from firmly saying no.  As if that weren't heart-wrenching enough, he follows it up by crawling over to me, wanting to be held, and repeating "ma-ma" through his tears.  I hope he keeps that sweet sensitive spirit, but I know it will be battling that stubborn streak he has!

He has got to be one of the most playful babies I've ever known.  If he can make it into a game, he will.  He loves to play "drop the pacifier", "pacifier kisses" (where we put the handle end in our mouths and he grabs the other end with his mouth), "patty-cake", "peek-a-boo", and "I'm gonna get you".  He has learned to clap, dance, and sing and this amuses us to no end.  All we have to do is say, "Dance, Matthew" and he begins shaking his head side to side.  Sometimes his body follows, sometimes it doesn't.  Can't wait to capture that on video!

He's also learned to squeal.  LOUDLY.  Sometimes I think all I do is listen to screaming (whether for fun or out of anger) all. day. long.  It's exhausting.  Speaking of which, I think it's nap time.  :)

Anticipation!

Those of you who followed me on Myspace know that I was trying to start a business making glass blocks into night lights.  Nearly 6 months later, that dream is starting to materialize!  I have found a place that is willing to set up a table in their store for my light blocks and sell on consignment.  The down side is, the store takes 40%.  The upside is, it's a great way for me to advertise and since the blocks are custom made, I should make the majority of the money through people contacting me, though I can still provide the store with generic blocks.  So what's the hold-up?  Once again, I must blame my missing camera.  I want to take pictures of every block I make so that I can begin to build a page on Facebook, and hopefully a website on Etsy.  I have 3 blocks ready to go out the door, but I just can't part with them yet.  I am also anticipating the arrival of my business cards!  Yay!  That sounds so professional!  I will post the completed light blocks on here once I get a hold of a camera so you can get the word out for me!  I'm getting excited.  It would be so wonderful to earn a little extra money by doing something I love! 

Parenting Vulnerability

My blogs are a window to my soul.  I am more transparent in my writing than you will ever find me in person.  I feel free to share my blunders and failures because I know somewhere out there, there is someone who can sympathize.  However, when you allow yourself to be so open, there will be that person who will attack.  And that hurts.  Which is probably the number reason I find it too hard to be more transparent in person. 

I love my children so much.  I'm not a perfect parent.  Some say I am too hard on the boys, some don't think I'm hard enough.  And apparently some think I fall into the category of being just "another mother who doesn't want to listen to the doctor".  And while I will address that last judgment in Matthew's blog, I want to address the issue behind it here.  It's very easy to judge other parents because our parenting styles are so different.  If someone doesn't do things they way WE would do them, they must be a bad parent. 

I have two goals in my parenting.  One is that my boys will love God with all of their heart, souls, mind, and strength.  The second is that they will show that love to those around them.  Are my boys well behaved in your presence?  Are they respectful?  Can you tell that they are well dressed?  Well fed?  Well loved?  Do they appear happy to you, enjoying life?  Are they being provided for spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically?  Aren't THOSE the important things?  Aren't those the things we all want for our children?  You may go about it one way and I may go about it another, but if the end result is the same - if we raise God-fearing children with strong self-esteems who are able to contribute to society in a positive and uplifting way - is it worth it to attack another mother for her daily failures?  Or worse yet, jump to conclusions about a situation we only have limited knowledge of? 

Many things happen that are out of a mother's hands, but we all do the best we can and the best we know how.  If you know a mother who is willing to be vulnerable in front of you, instead of pretending to have it all together, support her and let her know that you struggle too. 

ooooooooH!

I still need to post a blog on Matthew's growth and his last doctor visit, but one of the things I was told when we were there was that he could be allergic to dairy.  I was very skeptical of this and decided to finish off the last month on his normal formula before jumping to conclusions.  I would just change the soaps and lotions and adminster the Zyrtec for allergies and hope for the best.  Today I have changed my mind.  Last night I steamed some vegetables which I gave to Matthew before putting cheese on them for Eric and myself.  Today I gave Matthew the leftover vegetables.  Covered in cheese.  Which I let him feed to himself.  He joyfully scarfed them down.  And then I went to clean him up as he sat scratching feverishly.  His entire torso was red as were his hands.  I quickly bathed him and watch as tiny little hives broke out everywhere that the cheese had touched.  Needless to say, I will be exchanging his formula for soy and be praying that cutting out dairy will "cure" the eczema - because the Zyrtec and soaps and lotions haven't made any difference that I've noticed.  So frustrating.  But every time I get discouraged or frustrated that he has to deal with this, I remember that it could be so much worse and then I'm thankful that it's something so minor - and eventually fixable!

Move out day

Soooo....it looks like my neighbor is moving out as I type.  It's weird because I feel bad.  Seeing her in a normal state of mind, she seems so nice.  In fact, others have said as much about her.  She's been here for about a year.  I don't think I would handle an eviction well, especially under these circumstances, but she is joyfully loading a truck with the help of another female.  I really do hate that it came to this.  The landlady has assured me I'm not the reason she was evicted but what went down here definitely sent it in that direction.  I guess I will be able to relax a bit more, but I still think it's sad when someone is forced out of their place.  So this is the grand conclusion to it all.  At least until the next set of neighbors moves in.  :)

Cool Product

When I find cool products I just have to share them with everybody!  I was dreaming of decorating the boys' rooms today (you know, in that house we're not in yet) and I was trying to come up with themes for each of them.  Of course, I wanted matching bedsheets, so I was searching for that perfect comforter.  In my search, I ran across the neatest thing.  They are called Incredibeds.

I've read the product description several times and I'm still not exactly sure what you get with this ensemble, only that somewhere in that bear is a mattress and box springs set.  My grandkids will totally have one of these in the magical playroom I will have designed by that time!  You know, the one that faces out on the playground in the backyard?  :)

Eric's Growth

Since Easter, Eric has made huge strides in so many areas.  First and foremost, he's fully potty trained!!!  YAY!!  He has been since Easter weekend, but I was waiting to get that winning shot of him in his cute little underroos.  Unfortunately, things stay so busy around here that I never got it.  I did get some fantastic shots of him proudly sitting on the potty, however!  You know..the pictures that are stuck on my camera?  Never fear!  I will leave space right HERE for those pictures!------------------------------------------------



Although initially frustrating, (I really didn't think I would survive the first 2 days), I am pleased with how we went about potty training.  Thank you all for your advice and comfort!  In the end, the best plan for Eric was simply to let him take his time with it.  Yes, he was potty trained a bit later than most kids, but that's okay.  Taking it one step at a time and being patient as opposed to pushing our own agenda, prevented everyone all around from a world of stress.  We have had very few accidents and he has amazing control!  One child out of diapers!  Hooray!

On the educational  front, Eric has begun reading.  Once again, I have video to prove this and once again it's on my camera.  But I will post it when I get it back.  Mom got Dick and Jane books for him to teach him to read.  I must be honest and say, I really didn't see the point.  How were Dick and Jane books going to be any different than what was already available?  He was already picking out some some words here and there.  He would surprise me in the grocery store by pointing out "Thank You" or "Time".  Random words.  But mom didn't have to read to Eric long from the Dick and Jane books before we turned it over to him to allow him to read to us.  Now understand, he is not reciting the lines from memory.  The books were only read a couple of times and we jumped around the book and read from various places (It was a collection of the series).  One night I climbed into bed with him and opened the book somewhere in the middle and said, "What does that say?  Can you read that to me?"  And in fact he could.  He would get caught up on a word here or there, but overall he amazed me.  I know I shouldn't be too surprised as all children are capable of this, but it still makes me proud!

He also learned another skill - not quite as useful as reading, but highly amusing for the time being:  tattling.  I don't know how it ever occurred to him that he should tell on his brother if Matthew was being "naughty", but we all got a good laugh while we were in North Carolina one Sunday.  Eric had asked to go see Nana but  I had assumed she was using the bathroom and told him no and explained why and continued to get ready.  Matthew was crawling all over the place, happy for some freedom.  Suddenly we hear Eric running through the house, "PAPA!  PAPA! PAPA!  Mattmoo crawling into Nana!"  Seriously?  Did he just go to tell on Matthew?  We all got a good laugh out of it and allowed Eric back to see Nana who was simply putting her make-up on.  It happened once again during our stay there and he came quickly running to me to inform me of Matthew's misdeeds.  I can see John and I are going to get quite an earful as the boys continue to grow!

So many things to say....

Ok.  Only I would lose my camera with all the terrific blog material on it, but time is still passing by, and if I don't start writing, I may forget it all.  When said camera is recovered, I will add the pictures and video to corresponding blog.  Ai-yi-yi.