Saturday, May 8, 2010

Parenting Vulnerability

My blogs are a window to my soul.  I am more transparent in my writing than you will ever find me in person.  I feel free to share my blunders and failures because I know somewhere out there, there is someone who can sympathize.  However, when you allow yourself to be so open, there will be that person who will attack.  And that hurts.  Which is probably the number reason I find it too hard to be more transparent in person. 

I love my children so much.  I'm not a perfect parent.  Some say I am too hard on the boys, some don't think I'm hard enough.  And apparently some think I fall into the category of being just "another mother who doesn't want to listen to the doctor".  And while I will address that last judgment in Matthew's blog, I want to address the issue behind it here.  It's very easy to judge other parents because our parenting styles are so different.  If someone doesn't do things they way WE would do them, they must be a bad parent. 

I have two goals in my parenting.  One is that my boys will love God with all of their heart, souls, mind, and strength.  The second is that they will show that love to those around them.  Are my boys well behaved in your presence?  Are they respectful?  Can you tell that they are well dressed?  Well fed?  Well loved?  Do they appear happy to you, enjoying life?  Are they being provided for spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically?  Aren't THOSE the important things?  Aren't those the things we all want for our children?  You may go about it one way and I may go about it another, but if the end result is the same - if we raise God-fearing children with strong self-esteems who are able to contribute to society in a positive and uplifting way - is it worth it to attack another mother for her daily failures?  Or worse yet, jump to conclusions about a situation we only have limited knowledge of? 

Many things happen that are out of a mother's hands, but we all do the best we can and the best we know how.  If you know a mother who is willing to be vulnerable in front of you, instead of pretending to have it all together, support her and let her know that you struggle too. 


  1. Girl, I think we all have those moments at one time or another. :) I have decided and once told a friend that let me know what I was doing wrong as a mother when I had been one longer and I was preggo at the time with Lillian. Maybe that was her first mistake, messing with a pregnant woman! LOL Anyway, I told her that motherhood is like religion, sometimes it is just best to keep your opinions to yourself. :)

    Hang in there! I am sure you do your best and that is all we can do.

    Love ya,

  2. Thanks! Turns out the "offensive" comment was made by my brother in law who was being funny. I'm working off very little sleep and the comment didn't translate well in writing and to top it off it was made by "anonymous" which irked me more! I called to talk to my sister about the comment and she then in turn told her fiance that I was upset about a comment that had been made at which point he looked it up and said, "I wrote that! I was being funny!" He felt bad and then I felt bad. But I still stick by what I said (even though it now has nothing to do with the comment made) Everybody has an opinion about how you should parent. And I'm definitely open to new ideas on how to be a better parent - I just don't like to feel attacked!

  3. Glad we could get this resolved today. :) Feel free to post "anonymous" comments where we're parents! Ha!

  4. omg wow reading this just hit home for me, even tho i read too that for u it seemed to end up being a misunderstanding of sorts but wow i recently had this exact thing happen to me for real, my sister stacey called me flipping out for the meds i had chelsea on saying y would i put her on something she could get addicted to? like i hadnt thought about that at all grr or talked with chelsea bout it, like for real, i was appalled and hurt alot, she just dont get what i live with when it comes to chelsea day in day out, anyways thanx for writing hehe