Marbles Museum - Eric

Here are Eric's pictures at Marbles.

Marbles Museum - Matthew

My parents took us to the Children's Museum in Raleigh.  The boys had a blast!  Here's a few pictures of Matthew.  Most of it was too advanced for his age, but he still had a good time!

Eric's First Movie Experience

I didn't get to be there with him for his first time at the movies, but many thanks to Amber and Chris for braving an entire theater movie with a 3 year old!  They took him to see "How to Train Your Dragon" in 3D.  I think they lost him after the opening credits, but here's a few pictures where you can see his excitement!

What can I say?  He's three......

The glasses were super fun!!

Make it stop!!!!!

It's time for daddy to come home.  Past time.  46 minutes past time.  Where is he?  Matthew is such a cutie.  I'm having to repeat that over and over right now.  I can't take another minute alone with him.  I'm exhausted from fishing flowers out of his mouth, closing cabinet door, washing toilet water off his hands, pulling headphones out of his mouth, resetting the TV for Eric after Matthew has mashed the buttons, giving the child baths, chasing him across the park, trying to toss smashed cheetos away for obvious reasons......Matthew IS the Insanity workout.  And I am officially insane!! 

Eric, bless his heart, is compliant for the most part, but in this awful repetitive stage.  Why do I have to hear the same thing 50 times even when I've responded to you???  Please STOP! 

Matthew is pulling papers down off of our shelf...I have to go now....JOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Cracking Up

Eric tends to be a bit "laid-back" when it comes to learning certain skills because he knows he can get somebody to do it for him.  Getting dressed for instance.  Today I've been pushing him to put his underwear on by himself because I know he has the ability to do it.  The first time he put them on backwards.  But he tried.  So I helped and got them straightened out.

He just ran here shouting "Ta-Da!"  with a great deal of glee and pleasure.  I saw as he patted his sides.  he got his underwear on by himself.  With tag in back.  Inside out.  And no, I'm not changing them.

Scared!

*warning! Emotions are heightened due to female hormonal fluctuations this week*  So..it should be an interesting blog week!

The time for launching LightBlox is getting close.  Soon, they will be up for sale in the store and on Facebook.  And I'm petrified!!  I am a dreamer.  My head has been full of ideas since I was itty bitty, and I don't think I've followed through on a single one.  I am so bad at being an "action" person.  I would much prefer to concoct crazy ideas and give those ideas to someone who is good at putting things into motion.  I can't say that I have good business skills or leadership skills.  I like being given a task or told what to do because I can follow direction well - so if YOUR plan of action doesn't pan out that's on YOU.  So this whole baby business I'm trying to start is scary because I'm calling the shots and it's on me.  Ideally, it would be nice to have between 3-5 orders a week.  The reality of it though is it could go one of two ways.  1)  Nobody likes these blocks and nobody will want to buy them or 2) I will get more orders than I can handle.  Either one is scary.  Option one means I've wasted my time and will have failed, though I know I will learn a lot in the process.  Option 2, though far less likely, is hard to prepare for despite the success it brings.  The logistics of single-handedly creating blocks and providing great customer service is slightly daunting.   And I'm not even touching on all the business aspects of the growth and legal paperwork I would have to have drawn up if this ever made it "big'.  How big, I don't know.  IRS stay away.  Of course, part of that is me dreaming.  I DO understand that the chances of selling a ton of these is slim to none, but I'm trying to be prepared for everything.  

I would like to thank everyone who has been involved to help make this happen.  To John, for his "loan" to get started.  Despite his doubt that anything would come of it, he gave me money to get started!  Thanks babe!  To John Grubbs, for drilling the holes in my first set of blocks.  I wish you were still around to be my partner!  If these actually sell, I could pay you to drill holes!  To Julie, for shopping with me and giving me encouragement and support.  To Abbey for your donation of ribbon supplies - that was a huge help for getting started!  To my parents for housing the supplies until I got the courage and means to begin selling.  To those who have always believed I could make a living selling my art.  I've always thought you were all crazy for thinking so, but I have appreciated the belief in my talent.  Even if this all fails, thank you all for your contribution and for believing in me.  I'm not used to taking risks or putting myself in a situation where I know failure could be a strong possibility, so thank you all for your support!  If I succeed, I will be doing something I love and that is very exciting for me!!

I don't get it.

John has a friend who is entering a bodybuilding contest in 8 weeks.  He has worked hard and is quite muscular.  John is super impressed.  I just don't get it.  I know girls go crazy over this guy, but I just don't see him that way at all.  I mean, it is definitely one thing to work on being fit, healthy, and muscular, but there's something about going overboard on building muscles.  I think if John had unlimited free time, he might want to concentrate on bodybuilding as well.  He really likes his friend's results.  I'm glad John is busy.  I don't know if I associate a cocky attitude with the figure or if I'm just truly repulsed by professional body builders.  Why is this attractive?!?!

This is NOT John's friend by the way - he's nowhere NEAR that......leathery, musular-y, fake looking.  I'm still staring at the picture trying to figure out why men want to look like that.  He looks cancerous to me.  This next guy says he's not a body builder....He looks like the Michelin tire man to me....

I don't even get how it's possible to LOOK like that.  Is it stupid to ask how he moves his arms?  Does anyone have ANY comments on body building?  Help me out.

Unprepared.

I psyched myself out before having Eric about all the things little boys get into.  I was ready.  Whatever he could throw at me, I was ready to handle.  But he never did anything.  Parents of boys his age were jealous.  The child got into NOTHING.  So I suppose I let my guard down and I felt quite relaxed about having another little boy.  TOO relaxed.  This child gets into EVERYTHING!!!  And he's super fast.  Especially if he knows you want to pick him up.  It's like trying to step on a spider that's trying to get away. 

I was cooking lunch for Eric this afternoon when I realized Matthew was a little *too* quiet.  I find him in the bathroom, playing in the toilet water.  Again, a great photo op, but all I could do was yank him up, tell him no-no, and scrub him down with the hand soap.  Which of course produced tons of grins and giggles.  What's more fun than trying to reach into the toilet and splash in the water?  Having mom turn on a faucet for you!  I'm not prepared for this little boy.  Eric tricked me.

My Brand of Bravery

I'm a chicken.  About everything.  And I suppose I am a chicken because I am a creature of comfort.  If it is uncomfortable, painful, and unnecessary I don't want to do it.  However, ever since I was old enough to give blood, I have felt compelled to do so, even though I hate needles with every fiber of being.  I've only tried to give blood once - when I was 17.  I was such a basket case by the time they had the rubber band on my arm, that they just told me to go.  Now after having poked and prodded through 2 pregnancies, I have agreed to go with John to give blood for the church's blood drive.  He kept saying I didn't have to go and made me promise not to be a baby for the rest of the day if I did it.  I said I would be fine.  Sure, I would not deal as well as he would, but I could do it this time!  Of course, now I'm getting anxious as we are at T-24 hours.  Ugh.  But I have always looked at like this.  How can I deny giving my blood to help save lives when Christ died a horrible death to save everyone?  Not that you can compare the two.  I'm just saying.  Jesus was willing to die to save a world and all I have to do is give ONE pint of blood.  And they'll probably even give me some cookies and a sticker.  This is as brave as I get, world! 

Spanish

I wanted to throw this site out there for all you moms who may be interested in having your child learn a second language.  I was looking for programs for Eric, but found that they were all very expensive. www.gogolingo.com is a free game site where children can start learning Spanish vocabulary.  I introduced it to Eric before he could use a mouse on the computer and he liked it, but we stopped using the site for a while.  Now he has learned to use the mouse and he asks me every morning if he can "go speak Spanish".  He's learning lots and LOVES to play!  You can pay membership fees to have access to a greater number of things, but there is plenty for your child to do for free.  Go check it out! 

Golden Birthday

It's nobody's birthday, (ok - it's SOMEBODY'S birthday - but I'm not writing about that person today).  But I just discovered this concept of a Golden Birthday.  Has anyone else ever heard of that?  When I read a blog about a parent celebrating her daughter's "golden birthday"  I had no idea what she was talking about.  Did birthdays follow some sort of gift pattern like anniversaries?  It turns out, (for those of you who are clueless like me) that a Golden Birthday is one in which you turn the same age as the date of your birth.  Therefore, my Golden Birthday was the year I turned 7.  I'm still not sure I get the significance or specialty of it all.  And according to "tradition" there doesn't seem to be a huge difference in the way you would celebrate such a birthday.  It still seems like a fun thing to say that it's your Golden Birthday though.  And even though I don't totally get it, it would still be fun to make a big deal out of the boys' Golden Birthdays.  However, it just so happens that their Golden Birthdays fall on significant milestone birthdays anyway.  Matthew's Golden Birthday would be when he turns 5.  A full fledge child.  No more baby.  :(  Of course this is not as big a milestone birthday as Eric's Golden Birthday which is 18.  Have any of you celebrated this birthday in a special way?  Tell me about it!

I Forgot!

I was going through Eric's pictures and found these photos that show off his writing skills!  He's working so hard on writing as well as reading.  I can't believe I forgot to mention that in his update!

Matthew's Growth

Little Matthew is going through some big changes too!  At his doctor's appointment on April 30th, we learned that he is 23 lbs and 30 1/4 inches.  Since children are supposed to triple their birth weight in a year, he is apparently considered quite hefty.  I still think he's just a little thing, but the doctor said his head is a bit big for his body still, but that's okay.  I just kept staring at him as she said his weight is in the 93% and his height 95%.  Really?  Because he still doesn't look all that big to me.  Maybe it's his baby face.  Or maybe it's because the only other infant I have spent extensive time with was GINORMOUS (ahem, Eric!).  Oh well.  Hes still my little cuddly pumpkin head, no matter what the charts say!

Regarding his skin condition, whatever that may be - allergies, eczema, a thorn in our sides - we are doing our best to get it under control.  The doctor did diagnose it as eczema and directed me to use Cetaphil and a certain brand of lotion to help.  She also prescribed Zyrtec since I had concerns about him seeming to react to a lot of environmental factors.  She asked if  I had tested him for food allergies and I said no.  She asked if I wanted to have him tested and I hesitated, since I knew that involved him being stuck a whole lot.  She said it could be a dairy allergy.  She told me to give soy milk a try along with the other 100 things and we could have him tested in June if I wanted.  I did wait on switching the formula because I didn't want to change EVERYTHING at once and not know which method was making him better if any.  As you all know, he reacted to that cheese, so I have since switched the formula.  If it IS a dairy allergy, I'm just confused by the whole thing (I must mention, I haven't noticed a big change yet).  One, there is no history of food allergies in the family that I am aware of.  I'm not even sure that is a factor, I would just assume it to be as everything else is.  Two, I had a child in pre-school who had a dairy allergy.  It involved explosive diapers when he got a hold of any dairy - which he did his BEST to get a hold of from other kids' lunches everyday.  I guess I was once again wrong in assuming that if he HAD a food allergy, it would have involved vomiting and diarrhea.  As it is, I think if Matthew is just to ingest dairy of any kind, there is no reaction that I see.  But if it touches his SKIN, there's a harsh reaction.  I just don't understand that.  Everything is trial and error and it's frustrating to not see a huge change.  It's under control enough that he's not scratching himself open, but he still has those red itchy blotches of skin and the overall dryness.  I will have him tested next month to see what we can find.  I am hoping this is something he grows out of.  I am a bit afraid to find the results of the allergen test.  Dairy is not the only ting his skin seems to have reacted to.  His little fingers have gotten quite red and blotchy from several different foods, though I never associated it with a food allergy - just yet another reaction to something "foreign" touching his skin.

He is a highly experienced crawler at this point.  I know that walking is right around the corner.  He LOVES the freedom and is much happier that he is not "stuck" in one place.  I, on the other hand, am pulling my hair out trying to keep him out of things.  So much so, that "no-no" has become his 3rd word.  Oops.  He's a stubborn little monkey and will try the same thing over, but he's very sensitive and does not like to be fussed at.  It breaks my heart to watch his face drop, the bottom lip come out and the tears stream down, simply from firmly saying no.  As if that weren't heart-wrenching enough, he follows it up by crawling over to me, wanting to be held, and repeating "ma-ma" through his tears.  I hope he keeps that sweet sensitive spirit, but I know it will be battling that stubborn streak he has!

He has got to be one of the most playful babies I've ever known.  If he can make it into a game, he will.  He loves to play "drop the pacifier", "pacifier kisses" (where we put the handle end in our mouths and he grabs the other end with his mouth), "patty-cake", "peek-a-boo", and "I'm gonna get you".  He has learned to clap, dance, and sing and this amuses us to no end.  All we have to do is say, "Dance, Matthew" and he begins shaking his head side to side.  Sometimes his body follows, sometimes it doesn't.  Can't wait to capture that on video!

He's also learned to squeal.  LOUDLY.  Sometimes I think all I do is listen to screaming (whether for fun or out of anger) all. day. long.  It's exhausting.  Speaking of which, I think it's nap time.  :)

Anticipation!

Those of you who followed me on Myspace know that I was trying to start a business making glass blocks into night lights.  Nearly 6 months later, that dream is starting to materialize!  I have found a place that is willing to set up a table in their store for my light blocks and sell on consignment.  The down side is, the store takes 40%.  The upside is, it's a great way for me to advertise and since the blocks are custom made, I should make the majority of the money through people contacting me, though I can still provide the store with generic blocks.  So what's the hold-up?  Once again, I must blame my missing camera.  I want to take pictures of every block I make so that I can begin to build a page on Facebook, and hopefully a website on Etsy.  I have 3 blocks ready to go out the door, but I just can't part with them yet.  I am also anticipating the arrival of my business cards!  Yay!  That sounds so professional!  I will post the completed light blocks on here once I get a hold of a camera so you can get the word out for me!  I'm getting excited.  It would be so wonderful to earn a little extra money by doing something I love! 

Parenting Vulnerability

My blogs are a window to my soul.  I am more transparent in my writing than you will ever find me in person.  I feel free to share my blunders and failures because I know somewhere out there, there is someone who can sympathize.  However, when you allow yourself to be so open, there will be that person who will attack.  And that hurts.  Which is probably the number reason I find it too hard to be more transparent in person. 

I love my children so much.  I'm not a perfect parent.  Some say I am too hard on the boys, some don't think I'm hard enough.  And apparently some think I fall into the category of being just "another mother who doesn't want to listen to the doctor".  And while I will address that last judgment in Matthew's blog, I want to address the issue behind it here.  It's very easy to judge other parents because our parenting styles are so different.  If someone doesn't do things they way WE would do them, they must be a bad parent. 

I have two goals in my parenting.  One is that my boys will love God with all of their heart, souls, mind, and strength.  The second is that they will show that love to those around them.  Are my boys well behaved in your presence?  Are they respectful?  Can you tell that they are well dressed?  Well fed?  Well loved?  Do they appear happy to you, enjoying life?  Are they being provided for spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically?  Aren't THOSE the important things?  Aren't those the things we all want for our children?  You may go about it one way and I may go about it another, but if the end result is the same - if we raise God-fearing children with strong self-esteems who are able to contribute to society in a positive and uplifting way - is it worth it to attack another mother for her daily failures?  Or worse yet, jump to conclusions about a situation we only have limited knowledge of? 

Many things happen that are out of a mother's hands, but we all do the best we can and the best we know how.  If you know a mother who is willing to be vulnerable in front of you, instead of pretending to have it all together, support her and let her know that you struggle too. 

ooooooooH!

I still need to post a blog on Matthew's growth and his last doctor visit, but one of the things I was told when we were there was that he could be allergic to dairy.  I was very skeptical of this and decided to finish off the last month on his normal formula before jumping to conclusions.  I would just change the soaps and lotions and adminster the Zyrtec for allergies and hope for the best.  Today I have changed my mind.  Last night I steamed some vegetables which I gave to Matthew before putting cheese on them for Eric and myself.  Today I gave Matthew the leftover vegetables.  Covered in cheese.  Which I let him feed to himself.  He joyfully scarfed them down.  And then I went to clean him up as he sat scratching feverishly.  His entire torso was red as were his hands.  I quickly bathed him and watch as tiny little hives broke out everywhere that the cheese had touched.  Needless to say, I will be exchanging his formula for soy and be praying that cutting out dairy will "cure" the eczema - because the Zyrtec and soaps and lotions haven't made any difference that I've noticed.  So frustrating.  But every time I get discouraged or frustrated that he has to deal with this, I remember that it could be so much worse and then I'm thankful that it's something so minor - and eventually fixable!

Move out day

Soooo....it looks like my neighbor is moving out as I type.  It's weird because I feel bad.  Seeing her in a normal state of mind, she seems so nice.  In fact, others have said as much about her.  She's been here for about a year.  I don't think I would handle an eviction well, especially under these circumstances, but she is joyfully loading a truck with the help of another female.  I really do hate that it came to this.  The landlady has assured me I'm not the reason she was evicted but what went down here definitely sent it in that direction.  I guess I will be able to relax a bit more, but I still think it's sad when someone is forced out of their place.  So this is the grand conclusion to it all.  At least until the next set of neighbors moves in.  :)

Cool Product

When I find cool products I just have to share them with everybody!  I was dreaming of decorating the boys' rooms today (you know, in that house we're not in yet) and I was trying to come up with themes for each of them.  Of course, I wanted matching bedsheets, so I was searching for that perfect comforter.  In my search, I ran across the neatest thing.  They are called Incredibeds.

I've read the product description several times and I'm still not exactly sure what you get with this ensemble, only that somewhere in that bear is a mattress and box springs set.  My grandkids will totally have one of these in the magical playroom I will have designed by that time!  You know, the one that faces out on the playground in the backyard?  :)

Eric's Growth

Since Easter, Eric has made huge strides in so many areas.  First and foremost, he's fully potty trained!!!  YAY!!  He has been since Easter weekend, but I was waiting to get that winning shot of him in his cute little underroos.  Unfortunately, things stay so busy around here that I never got it.  I did get some fantastic shots of him proudly sitting on the potty, however!  You know..the pictures that are stuck on my camera?  Never fear!  I will leave space right HERE for those pictures!------------------------------------------------



Although initially frustrating, (I really didn't think I would survive the first 2 days), I am pleased with how we went about potty training.  Thank you all for your advice and comfort!  In the end, the best plan for Eric was simply to let him take his time with it.  Yes, he was potty trained a bit later than most kids, but that's okay.  Taking it one step at a time and being patient as opposed to pushing our own agenda, prevented everyone all around from a world of stress.  We have had very few accidents and he has amazing control!  One child out of diapers!  Hooray!

On the educational  front, Eric has begun reading.  Once again, I have video to prove this and once again it's on my camera.  But I will post it when I get it back.  Mom got Dick and Jane books for him to teach him to read.  I must be honest and say, I really didn't see the point.  How were Dick and Jane books going to be any different than what was already available?  He was already picking out some some words here and there.  He would surprise me in the grocery store by pointing out "Thank You" or "Time".  Random words.  But mom didn't have to read to Eric long from the Dick and Jane books before we turned it over to him to allow him to read to us.  Now understand, he is not reciting the lines from memory.  The books were only read a couple of times and we jumped around the book and read from various places (It was a collection of the series).  One night I climbed into bed with him and opened the book somewhere in the middle and said, "What does that say?  Can you read that to me?"  And in fact he could.  He would get caught up on a word here or there, but overall he amazed me.  I know I shouldn't be too surprised as all children are capable of this, but it still makes me proud!

He also learned another skill - not quite as useful as reading, but highly amusing for the time being:  tattling.  I don't know how it ever occurred to him that he should tell on his brother if Matthew was being "naughty", but we all got a good laugh while we were in North Carolina one Sunday.  Eric had asked to go see Nana but  I had assumed she was using the bathroom and told him no and explained why and continued to get ready.  Matthew was crawling all over the place, happy for some freedom.  Suddenly we hear Eric running through the house, "PAPA!  PAPA! PAPA!  Mattmoo crawling into Nana!"  Seriously?  Did he just go to tell on Matthew?  We all got a good laugh out of it and allowed Eric back to see Nana who was simply putting her make-up on.  It happened once again during our stay there and he came quickly running to me to inform me of Matthew's misdeeds.  I can see John and I are going to get quite an earful as the boys continue to grow!

So many things to say....

Ok.  Only I would lose my camera with all the terrific blog material on it, but time is still passing by, and if I don't start writing, I may forget it all.  When said camera is recovered, I will add the pictures and video to corresponding blog.  Ai-yi-yi.

Behind

I have been on vacation for the past couple of weeks, so I haven't had a chance to blog  There is a ton to blog ABOUT, but it seems I have left my camera complete with pictures and video at my parents' house, and I just won't blog without them.  So you will have to wait.  Besides, I got a transcription assignment!  I say "assignment" because I've been hired for only one task.  I would LOVE for it to turn in to a job though!  So I will still be busy typing, you just won't get to read it!

Wheel of Fortune Frustration

How is it that I can watch virturally ANY TV show I want online, but WOF episodes are not available?  How crazy is that?  I'm slightly frustrated because I missed the episode where an old college roommate was playing.  She doesn't win (I found an entire rundown of the show - but no video).  Of all shows, why keep the wheel off limits?  Do die hard fans really sit around and collect the puzzles in hopes of one day being on the show and making a clean sweep with their decades of puzzles memorized?  *sigh*  There are several episodes available online to watch.  I'm not sure what makes them more special than any other episode.  How can one game be more exciting than the next?  I just don't know.  Maybe I should watch an available episode to understand.  But if anyone knows how to get a hold of the episode that ran on May 5, 2010, I would greatly appreciate it!!

So....Hungry.....

I need some Japanese food in the worst way.  I honestly think I will go to all the trouble to pack up my boys so I can go get some.  Yes, it will take us over an hour to get out the door, but I think it will be worth it.  These places should seriously consider delivery.  SERIOUSLY.  Because I would be on the phone in exactly 2 minutes (as soon as they  open).  What is with these cravings?  I dreamt about being pregnant last night, but I didn't expect any cravings this morning!!  And no!  I'm not pregnant!   

Children's Books!

No time to blog today (nothing spectacular to blog about either) but I was recently introduced to this book and I HAVE to have it!!!  Have any of you seen it or read it?

I know this will give you quite the insight into my psyche, but I think "children's" books like this are just brillant and highly amusing!  Here are a few others I love:

Lady Cottington's Pressed Fairy Book - it's filled with images of smashed fairies that the girl catches.  BRILLANT!

There is no better book for a melancholy!  Loved this book as a child and I have quite an interesting story to go with it.  Perhaps another day.

The perfect book for those with "worst-case-scenario-syndrome"  Runner up for favorite children's book ever.

Changes

I like to change things up - a lot.  My poor husband got used to coming home and having to relearn his way around the house every few months because I would rearrange the furniture.  So now I am welcoming you to his world.  The look of the blog is liable to change - a lot.  I always think it could look better.  I felt the black was too depressing, and I'm not THAT depressing!  Here is the new look.  Hope you like it, but don't get too used to it! 

Trapped!

I feel like a hostage in my own house.  My neighbor is back from the hospital.  I'm fairly sure she got in last night because I was awoken by quite a ruckus in the middle of the night, which made it difficult to go back to sleep.  Every worst case scenario played through my head.  I was hoping she wouldn't come back until I had a chance to leave.  I didn't see her but feared the worst.  I wanted to get out of the house today and be far far away from here, but I suppose lack of sleep and feeling petrified got me feeling quite ill.  I decided to take a nap with the boys in hopes that I would feel better and less afraid once I got some decent sleep.  I was awoken by the sound of children running and playing and the neigbors playing music upstairs.  I heard a little girl say, "Mommy, you love me so much you won't let anything happen to me right?"  My ears perked up.  Maybe other neighbors had had run ins too and Eric would be safe to play outside with the witness of other neighbors.  I heard her mom telling her friend, "She was mad that I pulled Jasmine inside...." 

I have met Jasmine once.  I was out the door on my way to the store when a little girl says hi.  I considered ignoring her, but didn't want to be rude.  So I said Hi and kept walking.  She said, "What's your name?"  I said "Charity.  What's yours?"  She said "Jasmine."  I said "Nice to meet you," and kept walking because she was obviously still wanting to talk.  Her mother called her inside and I walked off.  The reason I tell this story is because as the women keep talking and I strain to listen to what is being said with my doors closed and locked, is that one of the women says "My car was towed".  My heart stopped.  The friend the upstairs neighbor was talking to is the one who attacked me.  They loudly complain about the situation and I start to realize they haven't been talking about the woman who was hauled off - they were talking about ME.  My stomach started to turn in knots again.  I wanted to open the door to hear them better, but didn't want them to know I was listening. 

So I here I sit, trapped in my own house because I don't dare let Eric out to play with MORE neighbors against me, and I don't dare leave in the van and let them know that I am not home.  It's a gorgeous day and I'm cowering in fear.  I hate that.  I hate feeling this way.  I wasn't physically hurt when i was shoved down, but my sense of safety and security was stolen from me that day.  I have plans to take the boys and go live with my parents until she is gone.  I can't do this anymore and my boys need the freedom to play.  Poor Eric just doesn't understand why he can't play outside. 

I know I'm being TOTALLY absurd, but just had to get that off my chest.  Thanks for listening!

Art!

John had me trapped in the living room, using me as a pillow for that nap he didn't want to take- *rolls eyes*  :) - and so I got caught up watching LA Ink.  For those of you not familiar with the show, it's about a tattoo shop.  The art work is really so amazing!  I realized that there are so many different art forms that I would love to try.  I want to do them all!  I've tried a variety of things, oil painting, acrylic painting, watercolor, pottery, drawing, weaving (which I loved to my surprise), different types of sewing (which I hated), photography...but I'd like to try the more eccentric forms of art like tattooing as well.  Not that I want to be a tattoo artist or even have the ability, but I would love to just try it - if even on a pig - to see what it's like.  I also want to try screen printing and graffiti and oh I don't know - sculpture maybe?

I LOVE this artist, Phil Hansen.  He is so utterly creative in the media he uses to convey a message, which I think is amazing.  You can check him out here http://philinthecircle.com/index.html. It's hard to pick my favorite piece but you can check out how he uses bicycles as paintbrushes, band-aids as canvas and syringes as media. 

 I'll also plug Mike Lewis, better known as the Jesus Painter to many of you.  We went to Harding together and I got to see his work firsthand.  He developed new art techniques as well which fascinate me to no end.  http://www.jesuspainter.com/.  How amazing is he?

This is NOT a photograph.  It is done entirely with a mix of Charcoal, Colored pencil, Conte Crayon, Watercolor, Ink, and Pastels.

Ok.  That's it.  I was just in an artsy mood after watching LA Ink!  :)

Squeaky Eric

 Eric using his high pitched, shrieky voice and Papa is trying to teach him to talk in a lower octave.

After the Assault....

Thank you everybody for your concern and well wishes.  We are all doing fine.  The neighbor was taken to a mental hospital and spent several days there - she may still be there for all I know.  I plan on avoiding her like the plague from here on out.  The day after the incident was hard for me and I found myself wanting to stay in bed all day.  I guess I wasn't processing everything well.  But thankfully John was off work for two days and he made sure we got out and had a lot of family time.  I even got a bit sunburned!  :)  We got some mace for me to have on me and I feel a bit more protected and certainly more comfortable with spraying someone down as opposed to shooting them!  Today John works a 24 hour shift so I have been slightly paranoid about being home alone, but doing okay. 

The boys have kept me busy and are changing so much everyday.  Matthew is talking non-stop.  Mamamamamamamamamamamamama.  OK!!!  He loves to play games and is surprising me with his smarts already.  His favorite game this week has been to get me to repeat myself.  He sneezed the other day and I said "Bless you."  Apparently that was funny.  So he continued to pretend to sneeze so that I would say bless you.  It's funny to listen to him fake a sneeze over and over.  As I type, he is in his crib trying to get my attention by blowing raspberries, dropping his pacifier, and grabbing at my hair.  Just looking at him sends him into giggles.  He is supposed to be sleeping - but then again, I'm supposed to be out of his room!  He's very particular about that! 

I have updates on Eric but I will post those in another blog!  I want to make sure he gets all the spotlight!  Well that, and I will use it for blackmail when he gets older - because that's just the kind of mother I am!  Love you boys!!!  :)

Why the Ghetto and Naivety Don't Mix.

So I have a great story that I know Amber and Chris can truly appreciate - and be thankful they avoided.

Typically while Matthew is sleeping, I allow Eric to play out on our patio and draw with his chalk, while I stay inside - with the door open - and clean.  I can watch him and I can hear him.  So that's what was happening today.  Matthew was sleeping, Eric was drawing on the porch, and I was cleaning the kitchen.  While cleaning, I heard my neighbor  talking to Eric.  I believe the statement was "Are you playing outside by yourself?" to which Eric answered "Yes" and looked inside at me.  I walked to the door to see what was going on.  The neighbor was at her car and stuck her head quickly back in when I approached my screen door (they are difficult to see in).  I assumed she was questioning his safety and once she saw me would understand that he was fine.  I walked back to the kitchen and heard her begin talking to him again.  I walked BACK to the door and this time she addressed me but I couldn't hear her so I opened the screen door and asked what the problem was.  She said, "You need to take him inside with you."  I said, "No.  He's fine."  She repeated herself.  Again I said, "NO.  He's fine."  She said, "Can he walk?  Can he run?"  At which point I answered, "Yes.  But he won't.  He's FINE."   She closed her door and started to approach me. 

Now THIS would have been a good time to grab Eric, run inside and lock the door, however I was not anticipating the following events.  I try to believe the best in everybody.  As it is, everyone scares me anyhow.  I don't trust anyone.  But I try to.  And I understood that it LOOKED as if a small child was outside unsupervised, but I felt I had made it fairly clear that he was being watched - as was she.  She came up to the patio and said "Take him inside."  I said, "No."  She said, "We're about to have a riot up in here."

At this point I'm thinking, "Ok...something is going on around the corner that I can't see and she's concerned for his safety."  After all, the cops practically live at this place.  So I peer around the corner of the patio and ask "Who's about to have a riot?" I see nothing.   She was kneeling down talking to Eric.  So I repeated myself, "WHERE'S A RIOT?"  She stood up and went nose to nose with me.  "RIGHT HERE!"  Before I could react she chest bumped me taking me by surprise, which sent me flying backwards, practically on top of my son.  She turned and walked away muttering something about "That's what I'm talking about" and went back into her apartment.  I sat stunned and held Eric who was bawling.  I hate that he had to witness that. 

Once I calmed him down we went inside and I tried to gather my thoughts and decide what to do next.  I wasn't hurt.  Just stunned and now a bit shaken and concerned for my children's safety.  Fortunately my landlady, Stephanie was walking across the street.  She waved at me and I waved her over.  After explaining the incident she said "Call the police."  I HATE turning things into big deals.  I really do.  But since that was considered an assault I had to report it.  So I did, and we waited.  I was trying to keep an eye on Eric and find out the result of this situation.  I was going to feel pretty stupid having the police come and have to report "She shoved me". 

While waiting for the police to show up, the neighbor headed out of her apartment.  She turned and quickly said "Sorry." and kept walking to her car.  Stephanie said, "You need to stay here until the police get here." at which point this lady went OFF.  Blood curdling screaming and cursing as if somebody had flipped a switch.  She put the car in reverse and pulled out of her parking space while the landlady called 911 and reported that she was leaving the scene.  As she was giving the details of the car, the neighbor jumps out of her car and continues to scream.  Stephanie tells me to get inside.  I do.  I lock the door and continue to watch.  The neighbor continues to scream and curse at the landlady and then starts to approach her.  Stephanie reached for the door to run inside but found it locked so I quickly unlocked it and let her in.  She tells me to get Eric back to his room so he doesn't witness any of this.  I take him back and try to explain that he's not in any trouble.  I calm him down and turn on Sesame Street for him and go back to see what's going on.  I see her still aimlessly walking in the grass as if she's waiting for Stephanie or me to come out. Apparently she had walked right up to the door and banged on it while yelling at Stephanie then sat in the corner.  The police get there and she takes off and curls up in the fetal position on my patio.  I can not believe this happening.  She's still going off though I can't hear what she is saying.  They handcuff her and try to calm her down.  They actually did really well with that, because at one point she kicked Eric's eggs off the porch and her shoe went flying.  The officer said, "You're gonna lose your shoe that way!"  At which point she kicked off the other one. 

Now understand, this is a neighbor that we have let use our phone on MULTIPLE occasions.  We have talked briefly and I've never thought twice about her.  I find out that the police have had to deal with her numerous times and this is old hat for them.  The officer who came in to get my information simply said, "She said something about children being outside."  I said, "Yes..my son was outside on the patio with chalk..." And went to explain the story, but he cut me off.  "You're fine.  She's just crazy." 

Indeed.  From what I understand she is on medication for bi-polar disorder.  Now I'm not a psychologist or anything, but that was NOT a show of bi-polar disorder.  Apparently she's either not taking her meds or they are not working and she is having more frequent "episodes" for whatever mental disorder she does have.  I later asked if she had any family (afraid that they would come after me since she was being hauled off).  I was told where all of her children were and discovered that her youngest child was living with the neighbor's mother who had taken custody after the LAST episode she had, which then made everything very clear to me.  Here is this woman who is without her kids on the basis that she is unfit to care for them and she sees a small child outside "by himself" and she deemed it necessary to make sure he was properly cared for.  But not by calling CPS mind you, which I would have gladly welcomed over that whole ordeal!  So seeing Eric must have set her off.

I called John and broke down into tears.  He came over in his ambulance!  :)  He reminded my of the gun safe combination once again and Stephanie said "Listen to him.  Listen to your husband.  It's the safety of your children"  So..I think I might be convinced now.  I think it may be time to shoot the gun a few times and get a feel for it.  As much as it terrifies me.  I just know that if I pull a gun, I have to be prepared to shoot it.  And I don't like that one little bit.  UUUUGGGHHHH!  Not too much longer in these apartments!  I think I'll go house hunting this week!!!

Happy Easter!

It's a Gorgeous Day!

It is so beautiful out and I'm sad.  We live in an apartment which means no yard.  I want my children to be able to run around and play in a big yard when it's sunny out.  The simple solution would be to take them to a park, but nap schedules make that nearly impossible.  After breakfast, Matthew is down for a 2 hour nap (at which point Eric would love to be playing outside).  When Matthew wakes up, it is time for Eric's nap (at which point Matthew would like to be outside).  When Eric wakes up, Matthew is ready to eat, take a bath, wind down and settle in for the night at 6pm.  Not to mention, once Eric wakes up, it's time to start fixing dinner and getting the house ready for John's arrival home after a long day at work.  So..I sit and watch my poor 3 year old play with his bike and chalk out on our closet-sized patio and dream of one day providing him a little something something that looks like this:

It's crazy how happy that thought makes me.  Yes, it's an entire PLAYGROUND, but I get giddy thinking about how much fun my boys and their friends would have.  That really is a system you can purchase for your backyard.  I'll go ahead and plug this company because I think they are amazing.  You can them out at 
http://www.cedarworks.com/.

I am amazed at the joy I get from seeing my children happy.  Kids really don't understand how much  parents enjoy giving them what they want (especially when you have to say no so much!) It does make me stop and think on God and his relationship with His children.  It's hard for me to comprehend that he wants to give me amazing things too.  My children could not dream this playground up, but I can just imagine the look on their eyes if it were to "magically" appear in our backyard (which we will have one day!  :] ).  Does God feel this giddy when giving us gifts too?  Things that we really want?  I guess I find that hard to believe because our focus should be on the spiritual and it almost seems materialistic in a way if we receive something we want from God, so why would it make Him giddy with joy?  But, I would not find my children to be materialistic if they asked for a swing set and I was able to provide an entire playground.  I would do it just because it would make me happy seeing them happy.  Would they be happy with a swing-set?  Sure.  But there's just something about exceeding the expectations and visions of a child.  God blessed me and exceeded my request by giving me two little boys who I adore with everything I am.  Has He made you wide-eyed with wonder?